On  turning sixty

Yesterday, i turned sixty. I officially became a senior citizen, entitled to the tidbits the government and banks  give away to an ageing populace to help them cope with living standards sans a study income stream.  But I had not been working. So I was not missing anything.

        Was sixty just a numerical? To me, it did not seem different from forty or fifty. In fact, I was feeling  and getting better than the earlier decades when there had been niggling health issues, some of them quite bothersome. At this point of time, i was happy that I could handle my responsibilities  more satisfactorily and I was thankful for that. There were other dependent souls and I could not afford illness or physical inadequacy.

       In the Tambrahm spiritual schedule, turning sixty is quite an event in one”s life. Ours is a patriarchal society So For a man, it is marked by elaborate homes and poojas in the Vedic tradition. It is considered the second marriage in one’s life  and the extended family consisting of children and grand-children gather on the occasion to felicitate and shower their love and affection on the couple with expensive presents even as they pray for their long and healthy life.  Many also observe the Shastiabdhpoorthi to ward off evil portends which may otherwise mar their lives and fortunes. That set me thinking  quite a bit. In the good, old days, a man reached  sixty years, the peak of physical and social achievements like  raising and settling children, achieving professional and economic goals . So it was time to bid goodbye to the Grihastha  Ashram and move on to the next stage in a man’s life, namely the Vaanaprastha Ashram. His social world was bidding adieu to him, making place for a different dispensation; a whole new Bucket List of things to do.

Of course, when my husband entered his sixties, there was no such grand event. There had been no fanfare or festivities..The elders in the family had blessed him whole-heartedly and we cherished and flourished with their blessings.

          Now when I touched sixty, affectionate aunts and uncles called me to send their warmest wishes. A close cousin tracked the event and sent me a delicious cake filled with the chocolaty sweetness of her affection. So too now, the overtures  of all near and dear ones on the occasion overwhelmed me. After all the excitement had died down, I sat down to do some introspection. One thing was for sure…. my bucket list was long  and strong. Doubts gripped me…… did i have the timed will to do them all. Family consisted of only my husband and myself… there had been no organic growth. I was never to  know the challenges of birthing and bringing up children; the best school for learning soft and hard  skills  to face the ups and downs of life. But, this was not to be, in my case.Maybe, I was the loser. for want of it.

  An empty nest meant definitely less work in the domestic front, thereby freeing more me-time to follow your heart and chase your dreams. But time is a very elusive tool in the hands of a vague and uncertain creator. It is only too easy to fritter it away. So firstly, I had to take hold of myself.L ike Murphys law ,where work expands to fill the time available, a housewife could stretch or shrink her tasks. This meant prioritising and   scheduling, both of which were daunting and challenging at first glance. But I set to work with a firm resolve and stout heart. This meant that i had to auto motivate myself to strictly follow a daily routine that would free up time to engage in  mentally creative and socially constructive , I reiterated to myself that activities would broaden my horizons, thereby elevating the mind and spirit. Time and again, I reiterated to myself that i was doing all these things to nourish my inner self  and achieve meaningful goals. The moment, I anchored myself,I  found myself filled with a strong sense of purpose. My mood soared and  happiness engulfed me, even before I had embarked on my journey.